Introduction to me
My name is Paige Phillips, Im 21 and I am currently a senior here at OU. Im from Tulsa, Oklahoma and I always knew that I wanted to come to OU. I am the youngest of two brothers and I have two amazing parents. I also have a wiener dog named oscar, he is the best dog ever if I do say so myself. My major is criminology with a minor in social justice, I plan on going to law school this next Fall. I love my major and one day I hope to be a prosecutor for the child crisis unit. This past summer I had an internship with a law firm and I absolutely loved it, I am extremely exited for my future career. I am a member of Delta Delta Delta and have made some amazing friends through the greek experience. In my spare time I like to hangout with my friends and occasionally go see movies. In the future I would also like to travel to Greece, it is on my bucket list to go there some day. I think Greece is one of the most beautiful countries. Another fact about me is that I love Chinese food, it has al
Hi Paige, this is a really great retelling of that story! I have read many other's rewrites and so far this is the most different from the original. The conversation flowed very well, but the ending seemed abrupt. I would have liked to hear more from the princess, it was implied that she got her beauty back but we never heard from her about it. Also I was interested to hear any dialogue between the princess and the leprechaun after the troll was trapped again. If you wanted to lengthen your story at all, maybe you could add more to the ending or even beginning of the story - why are there trolls under the bridges? What was the leprechaun doing and/or why did he help? You said he didn't realize she was a princess, why was that important to the story? The ending could be extended to answer some of these questions. But as I said, great story! I really liked this re-telling of the original.
ReplyDeleteHello Paige, I really enjoyed your different view of the story “The Tiger, Brahman, and Jackal!” I actually just read this story recently and it was fun to see it completely flipped around with all different characters and what happens, but still keeping the same concept. I thought the use of a troll and princess was very creative. It reminds me of the classic troll under the bridge stories. I wasn’t expecting a leprechaun to come out and save the princess either, so I thought that was a nice twist. I wonder what the troll does with the princess’s beauty. Does he just take it away for fun or does it make the troll more beautiful? Maybe you could add what taking away the beauty of the princess does for the troll later on. Also I think the layout of your portfolio is great! If I would to suggest something it would be to maybe add a link to your comment wall under you story and to try moving the picture to the top so it gives a quick preview of the story. Overall I thought your story was great, keep it up!
ReplyDeleteHey Paige! I loved your story a lot because there are many unpredictable elements that you have worked into your narrative. The connection between the troll and leprechaun had me laughing. I would love to see how the story turns out after your ending here. Does the troll use the beauty in any way? Is there a princess out there for anyone else? Anyway, thank you for posting this story, I really enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteI really like the stories that are in your portfolio. It was nice to see a princess have some hesitation with helping people. In many stories, princesses are naïve and think that they will not be harmed, that is not the case for this princess. You have distinguished her from different princesses and that is a good thing! Unfortunately, the troll isn’t one to keep his promise. When the leprechaun came along, the mood changed. Sometimes leprechauns are devious, were you debating having the leprechaun be good or bad? He ended up being helpful towards the princess, so that’s good. I think that a way to go more into detail for the story would be to go into more detail when the leprechaun is introduced.
ReplyDeleteI really liked reading The Eagle and Her Human Son. It was easier to read because it was spaced out along the page. It was touching that the man stayed with the eagle. I like animals too so it was nice to read a story like this.
Hello, Paige. I see you are quite the mythology enthusiast, for your writing ability truly shows the passion you have throughout your stories. I loved the theme of your portfolio, "My favorite stories that I created in my Mythology and Folklore class," it as short and to the point, while also clearly sharing with the audience what your intentions are for your portfolio. Your first story had great narration, unlike your second one that had nice descriptions. I truly enjoyed how you showcased both types of storytelling, for you have a nice grasp on it. Overall, GREAT job dear, cannot wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteHi Paige, I really enjoyed reading your story The Eagle and Her Human Son. The ending of this story is great! I love the quote, The man said, "As you once cared for me, I will now care for you." I this is a great ending to a great story. I think you story has a lot of room for you to build suspense, such as “…there was something very special left behind; …Many years pass..” etc. I wonder if there is a way of taking advantage of this innate suspense and using it to create an overall suspense to your story. I did note one grammatical error: Many years pass and the infant was now a young boy—I believe you meant to say, “Many years passed or many years had passed.” I also like how you changed the main character from a wolf to an eagle. Lastly, have you thought of actually using the name of your story in the navigation bar instead of story 1 and story 2? Overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteBoth of your stories are excellent in concept! There are a couple of grammatical errors and typos in both readings, but none bad enough that the meaning is lost. I personally struggle with this too. I know it can be a pain, but try reading it outloud to check for typos. Or have a friend edit it for you. Reading it outloud/someone reading it for the first time will force the reader to slow down and process what's been written rather than you glossing over it because your brain knows what it's SUPPOSED to say. Other than some minor errors, it looks great! Your pictures of the eagles are absolutely breathtaking, too. I think the banner image you have chosen for the homepage is very pretty, but selecting a unique photo for your second story would be a good idea. Especially given that the second story has a different banner image already. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Paige!
ReplyDeleteI just finished browsing through your Portfolio and I thought it was great! I think it's easy to navigate my way through and find what you're looking for. I just finished reading your Story 1, which was "The Princess, Troll and Leprechaun" and loved it. It might be useful to change the titles from Story 1 and Story 2, just so the readers are better able to see the different stories that you have in your Portfolio. Reading your story the second time was that much better. I loved the descriptive words that you used to describe the characters and the scenery. It really helped me create a visual picture in my mind on what the background might look like. I'm interested to read the original story and compare the two. I thought your story was well-written and I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future. Overall, nicely done!
Hi Paige! I just read The Princess, Troll and Leprechaun and it was awesome. Although i had never read the story Tiger, Brahman and Jackal directly, i was able to connect the main theme in that story to your creation. The tricker was tricked by another tricker. However, some detail need to be clarify more, i guess. Why did a princess go pick up fruits while there would be a maid doing this job? Why she had to go outside the castle for those fruits (there should be the large farms and garden around the castle). Why the Princess still went through the bridge while she knew there would be dangerous if she passed it? Why were no one follow her? I am also wonder why the troll steal the beauty, but not something elses?
ReplyDeleteAbout the portfolio, you should link the comment wall directly to your portfolio so it will easy for leaving a comment. Also, you should named the tab instead of story 1, story 2. I personally think it would be better to do that.
Anyway, i was really enjoyed reading your first story and look forward for the next one.
Hi, Paige! I have really enjoyed reading your stories on your website! Your style of writing is so unique that it makes it a lot more fun to read! I also like the way you have designed your website layout. I do think that adding a link on your home page on your website directly to your comment wall would make things a lot easier for your readers, seeing as how it took me a little while to actually find your comment wall. I also think that you should add titles to your story tabs instead of just naming them "story 1" and so on. Adding titles will draw the reader in and make them excited and curious for what they are about to read. Overall, I think you have done a wonderful job with your website so far, and I look forward to reading more from you as this semester goes on!
ReplyDeleteHey Paige! I really enjoyed your storybook! The first story, “The Princess, Troll and Leprechaun” was a great adaptation of the original. I recognized the format once the leprechaun showed up and started asking questions. I think that the choice of characters was great as well as the choice to use losing beauty instead of death. I also think that the photo you chose to use is cute and very fitting for what reads like a children’s story. I wonder though if it would not be better to use it earlier on in the story. When I saw it at the end, I liked it, but it didn’t add much to the story. If you place it earlier in the story it can help the reader create their own little movie in their mind as they read the story. Another option would be to use other pictures throughout the story to create the same affect. Anyway, just some suggestions! I can’t wait to read more of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Paige, I like that you added a bit of an introduction, it made me know what to expect from your storybook and got me excited about some of your stories. One suggestion, instead of having the menu items listed as story 1, story 2, a.s.o, what about putting the titles of the story? Maybe the titles are a bit too long? Your image choices for your story are very nice and I feel like they worked very well with the overarching feel of the page. The stories are written in a very approachable manner, the dialog makes them easy to read and makes the characters more realistic.
ReplyDelete- Anna Margret
Hey Paige! I love the first story, I can't imagine how angry the troll must have been when the leprechaun was feigning his ignorance in order to trick him. I liked that unlike most trickster stories, the trickster is the one who ends up being the protagonist rather than the antagonist. It's a good thing he came along and set the troll straight for his actions! In your second story, did we ever figure out why the young boy was left behind in the village? I wonder why he would've been abandoned by his parents instead of taken with them. I think it also would've been a neat story if the man who took him from the nest was his father, and the woman was his mother being reunited with her child. The turtle story is one I think I read the original of, and I enjoyed it as much the second time as I did the first! It's a classic story of "be careful what you wish for." Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteHey Paige. Your story about the princess having her beauty stolen was very funny. I didn't think the princess would end up helping the troll since she knows that he steals beauty but decided to help him because she is such a good person. I was happy to have the leprechaun come in the end and save the princess and restore her beauty. It was sad for her to be betrayed by the troll but maybe she will learn from this lesson in the future. I was a little confused on why the leprechaun helped her but it was nice of him to do that. Also it was nice to hear that the leprechaun and princess became such good friends after what he had done for her. I wonder why the troll does such horrible things to people. Maybe you could make a story about that to show why the troll is the way he is.
ReplyDeleteHello Paige.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your remakes of the stories! I can see and feel the passion of the stories that you re-wrote. You do a great job of flipping some of the scenes. I think it is super funny how the trickster is the one who ends up being the protagonist. Usually the trickster is the one who is causing all the chaos. What made you want to choose losing death instead of beauty? I think that was a cool change to the story. I never would have thought of changing the story in that way. Luckily, Laura gives us the freedom to re-create these stories. We all think of the princess having ever lasting beauty. So, when you took that away I was like, "UH OH!". I was glad to see if you had her beauty restored. Overall, you did a great job writing your stories. I was able to follow them .
Hi there Paige!
ReplyDeleteI just finish reading your portfolio. I was hoping for an underlying theme when reading portfolios. Like princess, trolls, animals, etc. my favorite story of yours is probably the first with the princess, troll and leprechaun. happy endings are always a good choice in my book. the leprechaun tricking the troll in returning the princess beauty is a nice touch. I do ask for more images though, they help tell the story without words. I read a story similar to the one about how the turtle got his shell, but yours is more interesting to me. they asked for the shell as a means as survival.
Hey Paige. I just read your story about the turtle and how they got their shell. I really like how you made the the Forest God a very nice one that grants wishes. I also like how you basically added a downside to the turtles surviving now. In the story you didn't talk about how life was like for the turtle before they had the shell. I think that could have been a good thing to add since the reader including me doesn't know if the turtles were fast without the shell. It said that it took two days for the turtle to get home but I was wondering how long it took him when the turtle first went without a shell. Overall though the story was very good and added a little bit of a lesson as well. With the turtles case they received the shell so they could survive at a certain price which was their speed.
ReplyDeleteHi Paige! I read your “The Princess, Troll and Leprechaun” story. I thought it was truly creative and amazing! I like the very beginning of the story: princess wanted to cross a bridge to get some fruits but she was afraid to do so because under the bridge, there are trolls who lure after beauties. Wow.. I thought this was a really creative setting for story background. Intense.. that “help, help” screaming from the troll down in the bridge was likely fake. Poor princess was too kind to help the tricky troll. It’s really cruel and malicious: “"You are such a foolish girl," chuckled the troll as he took her beauty away.” For her kindness, she was severely punished: “The princess began to sob as she looked at her reflection in the water. Her long blonde hair was now black and short, her face was covered in wrinkles and pimples, and she looked as though she had lost her youth.” I like how Leprechaun wisely helped save the princess and taught her that it was all illusion. Thank you for a great story!
ReplyDeleteHey Paige!
ReplyDeleteI just read through your portfolio! You have some really great stories on it, but I have a couple of suggestions. It would be way more inviting for the reader if instead of “story 1”, you just put the title. I know you have a key on the front page, but it is still easier to be able to just look at the link and see the story title. Also, on the front page it could be cool if you gave a small, even one sentence, introduction to the stories. If you did this then people could know more about story and choose the one that interests them the most. Also, labeling your comment wall, comment wall, instead of my blog is just easier to see where to go. The stories themselves are great though! They are so fun and creative and I am so glad I had the chance to read through them!